Don't
Blame Hollywood For All The Shitty Movies
Some of them, yeah, but the rest is because of us.
We've all heard it before, and we'll hear it again: Hollywood sucks. And to
an extent that's true, especially when you factor in that after
'Crossroads', Britney Spears get's to make ANOTHER movie. Beyond the
occasional 'star-vehicle' or
'movie-starring-a-flash-in-the-pan-corporate-puppet', Hollywood actually has
little to do with the overall lack of quality in ninety-nine percent of all
movies.
It's not the studio's fault.
It's my fault.
It's your fault.
Remember, Hollywood makes the movies, they don't write them.
Chances are if you're reading this, you've written a screenplay or have
ideas for one and in some cases, have actually shot a film. But all too
often I hear (and make, guilty as charged) complaints about JUWANNA MANN or
Like Mike. But the fact is, those are the best the studios have to offer. I
hate to say it, and you'll hate to read it, but it's true.
They have these people, call them 'readers'. Their sole purpose for being is
(you guessed it) to read all the screenplays submitted to the studio.
Ninety-nine percent of those are completely unfilmable. The rest are,
well...filmable, and a very small portion of those are actually watchable.
And even SMALLER portion of those are what we would call 'good'.
Sure, there are THOUSANDS of screenplays out there better than anything to
hit the Silver Screen in years. So why aren't they being made?
Apathy. Laziness. Not from the studio, but from me, from you, from us, from
the jaded misanthropes pounding away at our respective works till the wee
hours of the morn. The result? Good screenplays gather dust, bad screenplays
win Academy Awards.
Once you're done with your screenplay, copyright it, then GET AN AGENT.
Unless you know somebody that knows somebody, that's the only way. Most
studios don't take unsolicited screenplays, meaning, if you package up your
opus and send it to Universal, they won't even open it. They'll either send
it back or, to save postage, throw it away.
Hollywood wants to make good movies. We want to make good movies. It's just
the in-between that must be conquered. When's the last time you tried to
find an agent to submit your work to? Have you networked? Have you
schmoozed? Have you done The Smith and actually hung your dick out and got
the screenplay on the screen?
Remember, it's OK to get rejection letters, it's OK to fail, because at
least then you're being active, you're putting yourself and your work out
there for people to see, and if you do it enough...well...the possibilities
are endless.
I'm not asking you to stop making fun of bad movies (but DO stop seeing
them!), because I couldn't ask you to do something I myself am incapable of.
But next time you give a derisive snort or a sad shake of the head when that
commercial for 'Legally Blonde, Part 2' comes on, ask yourself why you're
seeing that instead of a commercial for YOUR movie. Ask yourself what you've
done to make the movie theater a more entertaining place for all of us. |
