Anyone
noticed the newest trend in commercials? They have commercials within
commercials now, as if being bombarded by loud, badly acted advertisements
one at a time wasn't enough. You have Tiger Woods wearing Nike gear in a car
commercial. You have Austin Powers advertising Pepsi AND Britney Spears.
This sort of cross genre/product advertising is only getting worse.
I remember when I was a kid, you had to run to the bathroom (freshened by
Glade!) during the commercials, because there were only three. Three
commercials, then back to the show. Barely enough time to take a leak or
grab a snack, anything more and you risked missing the beginning of the next
cartoon or segment. Now? Well, last night I was watching The Simpsons and
during one commercial break I took a shit, changed a load of laundry ( I use
Tide), called my mom using C-A-L-L-A-T-T, balanced my checkbook, took a nap,
played with my cat, Turtlewaxed my car, learned to speak Mandarin Chinese,
then sat back on the couch in time to see Michael Jordan in his Hanes
drinking Gatorade while he played basketball against Bugs Bunny who was also
wearing Nikes and discussing why Tough Actin Tinactin cures his athletes
foot, although he prefers Preparation H for his hemorrhoids. To this, Mike
said, "Sure, but to feel fresh my wife HAS to use Flintstones Chewable
Douche. Drive a Lexus!"
OK, it hasn't got that bad...yet. But I'm sure some of you recall the ad for
that movie Swordfish which cleverly morphed into a commercial for Heineken?
I mean, I understand the logic behind it from the advertisers point of view,
but seeing this kind of trash makes me consciously avoid the products I'm
being inundated with. I had a seizure in Safeway just walking down the soft
drink aisle. I came to some twenty minutes (I checked my Rolex) later in the
fetal position, rocking back and forth, surrounded by Super Mario trying to
force feed me Acme brand seizure powder while he wore Reeboks and hummed the
new hit single from Hoobastank.
And even worse? Now there are more and more political commercials. So I
can't sit down to a half hour of animated wackiness without being told what
to eat, drink, wear, do, and think.
And the sad thing? It's working. Not on me, probably not on you, but I'm
banking (With Wells and Fargo!) by being here you're probably smarter than
Joe America, who even now is succumbing to the whims of corporate America
and the political machine, drinking Pepsi Blue and thinking people that
smoke weed are terrorists (oh by the WAY, where do they think money from
gasoline goes?)
Well folks, that's it for this weeks ranting. Right now it's time for me to
turn off my IMac, kick back in my La-Z-Boy, crack open a nice cold
Budweiser, take the NIKE off my left foot, the Reebok off my right, and turn
on my Sony widescreen digital TV, and pop a couple Advil, which my doctor
recommends over Tylenol!
Ha! They think they're soooo clever with their advertising...
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