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Mad Lynch
Disease Part 2
Chapter 2
The Odyssey
Brian Lynch met many more hardships
while in New Jersey, including trouble finding work as a Voodoo Comic book
artist, so using his Circus Background he joined the Red Bank Traveling
Freaks, there he met Kevin Smith.
He and Kevin were both traveling freaks, and in part of his time Lynch
attended public schools along with Smith. Their love was a circle of trust
never broken even through the hardships of Freak Show after Freak Show, and
they where once planning on becoming gay , and legally marry. The idea never
panned out due to Kevin Smith's attraction to woman. But during their
adolescent years they spent most of their time dong what most boys their age
do: read comics, vandalize property, fantasize about Bo Derek, and tease
girls; and even had a few run-ins with the law; a certain incident involving
an 80-year-old's panties comes to mind.but that story is for another time.
Hardship struck when the Red Bank Traveling Freaks split up due to their
difference in creative interests. Lynch, using his Public School education,
and a bag of mysterious money marked with a "$" sign, enrolled in Stan Lee's
School of Aspiring Comic Book Creators. AT SLSACBC he learned to better
channel his Voodoo abilities into Inspirational and Self Esteem building
messages in comics.and he came up with his first character named after his
mentor, Patrick Swanson, "Angry Naked Pat". While Brian Lynch was off
creating comics, Kevin Smith was busy selling his soul to the Disney, to
earn money to make Clerks.
Brian forged inspirational messages into the Angry Naked Pat comic to make
readers believe that nudism isn't a bad thing; and that squirrels need to be
treated with respect because they have feelings too. Because of Lynch's
hidden Voodoo messages in ANP, many of the readers became Vets or nudists,
or Nude Veterinarians, and while all of this was happening, he caught the
attention of his friend of a long time.Kevin Smith, aka The Disney Advocate.
Chapter 3
The Two Powers
Okay here's how it all went
down.Kevin Smith saw Lynch's Angry Naked Pat comic, and he thought to
himself, "Wow! He could really help in my plan for world domination though
the use of encoded messages" He called up Brian on the phone and said "Hey
Brian, You want to take over the world?"
Brian Says, "well I'm only using this
Voodoo shit for good"
Kevin Replies, "C'mon man, wasn't I the one who said I'd totally butt-fuck
you if I was gay.and didn't like that much hair in the rectal area"
Brian Sighs, "Yeah I guess you did, so, I guess I can help you."
Their Plan was too encode all of
Kevin and Brian's comics and movies to turn their viewers into worshippers
of them. The plan went sour when Brian messed up the Voodoo curse renduring
all readers of his comics into his worshipers. This is Mad Lynch Disease.
The spell could not be taken back. Kevin and Brian's plan for world
domination was ruined, and they never attempted it again, but for then on
all readers of Brian's Comics turn into his worshippers, following his every
moves.until the end of their lives.
Note: Only 35/215ths of this story
were true.
Reminder: I'm changing my column to reviewing the old WWWboards.so you don't
have to put up with another week of this.
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