Almost finished... again.

I can't believe you went to the trouble of trying to read this.  Loser!

Columns

  A Critical Look
by Steven Kilpatrick
  Bagged and Bored
by Christopher Roy
  Blood Sugar Sex Magik
by Linnit duFlon
  The Box
by sAm Larson
  ...but the Tips are Great
by Angela Powell
  The Colour of Morale
by Tom Blackett
  Confessions of the Lurker Girl
by girlwholurks
  Escaping Individuality
by Jennifer Miller
  The Mad Spin
by Steven Kilpatrick
  I Might Be Wrong
by Rob Lumley
  Kilpatrick's HSO's
by Steven Kilpatrick
  Shooting Ducks
by Daniel Lutz
  StripTease
by J. Balfe & D. Kenny
  Unfettered Access
by David Mitchell
  Urban Adventure
by Jane C. Nolan
  Wasteland
by Noga Westerlund
  Will Sell Out for Food
by Adam Appel
 

Guest Column

Retired Columns

  Cultural Bondage
by Rob McDole
  The Dark Mirror
by Steven Kilpatrick

Other

 

Submissions

Bagged and Bored

by TheKidInTheHelmet


COMIC BOOK INSPIRES FUTURISTIC SOLDIER

MIT recently announced that it won a $50 million grant to design high-tech gear for the U.S. Army. The project was hailed as the stuff of science fiction and comic book heroes. On Wednesday MIT stated that it copied images from the sci-fi comic book Radix as part of its winning bid to host a research center that aims to make soldiers partly invisible and allow them to clear 20-foot walls in a single bound. The illustration in question appeared on page 13 of a grant proposal MIT submitted to the Pentagon to host the high-tech Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies.  When MIT won the grant, national news media used the image to illustrate the kinds of futuristic warrior gear that the institute hoped to develop.  “It was an innocent use,” MIT spokesman Ken Campbell said. “We didn’t know it was from anyone else’s artwork.” The university issued a statement explaining its stance on Wednesday after an article appeared in the Boston Globe. MIT officials have not explained how the illustration made it into their grant proposal, but Campbell said the university pulled the artwork from its Web site in April as soon as it learned of the problem.

COMIC BOOKS STRIKE BACK

After a several years of shrinking sales, the comic book industry is on the rebound. In 1993, comic sales across the U.S. reached their all-time high of $850 million before beginning a terrifying slide. Among other factors, speculators had raised interest in comics to a frenzy—before backing out and sending demand into the dungeon. By 1996, Marvel had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, and by 1998 industry revenues had fallen to $375 million, then in 2000 comics sales fell even more to $250 million. Thanks to a little film called Spider-Man, comic publisher MARVEL reported a second quarter revenue increase of 57.8% to $70.9 million, and turned in operating income [before taxes and interest] of $14.4 million, vs. just $100,000 the year before. Another reason believed to account for the sudden re-interest in comics is a unique reading cycle of the comics audience, says John Miller, editorial director of ComicBuyer’s Guide. Fans may be fanatical until about high school, when they become distracted by such real-life pursuits as sports and dating.  They may venture back during college—lots of comic-book stores are located near university campuses—then tune out again as they start a career. Then “when they get to their 30s, they’ll have disposable income, and they’ll want to buy the things that help them remember the old days,” Miller says.

WITCHBLADE GETS AXED

Recently, cable network TNT cancelled it’s most popular original program. Based on the Top Cow comic book of the same name, Witchblade follows a tough New York City detective who takes on fantastic powers after coming into contact with an ancient weapon. She then uses the blade to battle evil. But TNT executive vice president and general manager, Steve Koonin, indicated the network has its reasons. “It’s a very tough decision,” Koonin told Variety. “We just felt to stretch it to a third year could hurt [the show’s creativity and ratings].” He says he wanted the show to end strongly.

JOE MAD’S TRILUNAR SHUTS DOWN

Two years ago, comic book artist and creator Joe Madureria (Battle Chasers) announced he would be leaving comics to persue his other love: video games. Sadly, TriLuna has announced it ceased all operations and development of its first game, DRAGONKIND. “The company was funded 100% internally, and without access to an external source of capital, we are unable to continue operating. This decision disappoints us as much as it probably disappoints all of our fans and supporters,” reads the company announcement. The site (www.trilunar.com) is still operational, and concept art and screenshots are available to view.

 

 

Now for the continuing saga that is my childhood stupidity...

 

 

To sum up the tale so far, I poked myself in the eye with a stick and had to wear this lame eyepatch.

About one week into my healing my mother and I were at a local supermarket doing our grocery shopping, and for some reason there were a ton of kids at the store. We soon found out why...there was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle in the building. Yeah, this got me really excited and I couldn’t wait, this was the proverbial silver lining to the cloud that was my self eye-gouging. So there I was, a blue t-shirt, blue shorts, and a big-honkin piece of gauze over my left eye. I wish I could remember the looks I was getting (you really didn’t see too many kids wearing eyepatches in those days). I also had a TMNT sticker I had gotten out of a vending machine on my shirt, I was going all out, but it was almost time for the turtle to come out!! All us children were herded into the dairy section (which I now know is standard procedure in northeastern supermarkets), when suddenly a set of double doors swung open and out walked....

a guy in a suit.

A guy in a fucking suit.

It wasn’t even a good one, it was like foam-rubber, and the kids were eating it up like crack laced Pixy Stix. The guy was dressed up as Michaelangelo (whom everyone thought was the coolest at the time, we now know that Raphael was the best just because he was a total badass in the first movie), and his purpose there was to advertise yogurt. No joke.  Michaelangelo and a man I’m guessing to be the Dairy Manager handed out little pads of post-it notes emblazoned with the yogurt brand Yoplait across the top.

The disappointment will continue...next time.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Let me know what you think via the Forums or through email (jinnaimuyo@yahoo.com). Also, if you have some time to waste visit my lame site at:

<http://xxleavingxx.tripod.com/home/index.html>

See ya in seven!


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