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Disclaimer and
Warnings |
Disclaimer
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| View Askew and Kevin Smith are in no
way affiliated with this website. In fact, they are barely aware of it.
No animals were harmed during the making of this site. All characters
are fictitious. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, are
purely coincidental. All rights reserved. Batteries not
included. All sales final. Some assembly required. Void
where prohibited by law. Be kind - please rewind. |
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Warnings
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| Do not use while sleeping.
Keep away from water. This is NOT a life saving device. May
cause drowsiness. May impair your ability to drive a car or operate
machinery, and may cause health problems. Contents under pressure.
Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face
and people, especially when opening. Dry clean only. Risk of
electric shock. This product must be cooked before eating. Use
of this product may be hazardous to your health. This product contains
Saccharin, which has been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals.
Do not take if you are pregnant or think you may be pregnant. Not to
be taken internally. Keep away from children. Do not use as an
ice cream topping. Avoid contact with face, eyes, and broken skin.
Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents
can be harmful or fatal. This is not a toy. Do not use after
expiration date printed on bottom. If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask
a health professional before use. For outdoor use only. Do not
operate at high or excessive speeds. Do not stop for hitchhikers.
Slower traffic keep right. Do not pass when lights are flashing.
Proceed at your own risk. No lifeguard on duty. If symptoms
continue seek the advice of a physician. Before starting any exercise
program see your doctor. No weapons beyond this point. Slippery
when wet. No parking between signs. Private property - KEEP OUT.
Beware of dog. If a rash develops, discontinue use. Take with
food. Do not exceed recommended daily dosage. The use of deadly
force is authorized. Use of this product may produce an oily
discharge. Discard immediately after use. Do not use if seal is
broken. Not recommended for children under the age of 5. Bridge
freezes before road surface. Refrigerate after opening. Use in a
well ventilated area only. Speed RADAR enforced. In the unlikely
event of a water landing the seat cushion may be used as a floatation
device. |
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