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There
Sometimes Is An Andeeee... Model Idiot? There's your Zoolander reference, Andy.
OK I admit it. I do have favorite
board
"personalities". And I think, occasionally, I'll beg
some for interviews... mostly so I can see what's
doing in their heads.
My first choice was Andeeeeee. Andeee
of the multiple
screennames. Andeeee who makes me chortle.
I sent him an email asking him some
really random
questions, and miracle of miracles, he responded!
So sit back and enjoy. And thanks to
Andy for
essentially writing my column for me this week.
1. What brought you to the VA board
in the first
place?
I was a big fan of Clerks, and I just
cut my lip on a
piece of Subway bread, I thought the bread was
supposed to be fresh........this happened right now,
not before I discovered the board (sorry, this is my
first interview and someone told me I was supposed to
try to be funny, I told them I'm just going to be me,
but I lied) So anyway, I looked up the website and I
found a whole community of Kevin Smith fans, it
brought a tear to my eye.......and now that nice
community has turned into retard central........ The
progression of the board is like a kid growing up and
becoming a murderer. In 1998 the VA board was an
innocent young lad that had a little evil streak, and
now in 2002, he's a mass murdering heathen. I just
threw up from the Subway Sandwich into my Sprint PCS
bag, fuuuuck, that was gross. I think one of the evil
Warlock posters put a spell on me.
2. How'd you connect with Brian
Lynch?
I met him at one of Vin's ABP
Screenings in N-E-W
Jerz, and we used to Instant Message sweet nothings
into each others IM boxes and he asked me to
contribute to the Pat site, and since I'm so
multi-talented I helped with some of the technical
things as well.
3. Who is you VA WWWBoard mortal
enemy and why?
Kevin, he's always coming on the
board and telling his
fans about View Askew related stuff, what a jerk, who
does he think he is, Kevin Smith?
4. Please explain the Chicken Eating
Kid. Please.
Usually there's not much to explain
with my videos, I
was going to do another rap but I figured people were
bored to death with that, so I thought I'd do a
song....and I had a wig from another video so I added
that......and I had some chicken in the fridge so I
thought it would be funny to eat chicken while
singing. The only one that I can explain is Chunky
Peanut Butter Boy because when I was 11 some jamaican
bet me $10 that I wouldn't smear peanut butter all
over my face.....and I did.......and he didn't
pay me. That bastard will pay, I will show up to his
little shack in peanut butter face and I'll ummmm,
I'll smear my face on his comforter.
5) Where do you see your Ice Cream
Fantastic videos
taking you in the next decade, fame-wise?
Fame-wise, hmmm, how about nowhere,
what do you want
from me? I'm just some dude making videos on the
internet........nah but for real, After the 14
episodes of pat are done (3 more to go), Brian plans
on putting out an Angry Naked Pat DVD, and he said
he's going to put some of my Ice Cream Fantastic
videos on it, some that are already on the site and
some new ones...... and since you're talking about
fame, yeah, I plan to get very famous from the DVD,
I'm not sure but I have faith, I actually here someone
knocking on my door right now and I'm not sure why but
I reaaaaaaally think it's Steven Speilberg.
6) What's the weirdest response you
got to one of
your videos?
Some chick asked me if she could be
the first "Ice
Cream Fantastic Groupie", and I wasn't that weirded
out by it but I told her "NO" because I already had
about 18 of them. Yeah, that's not true, but anyway, I
called the girl because it was her birthday and it was
weird because she was just some random girl and I'm
just some random guy, who's making retarded videos on
the internet. I would have told her that but it would
have broken her heart because she thinks I'm the next
Corey Haim and didn't want to be the one to tell her
that it wasn't so......but since then I started to
realize that I am the next Corey Haim..... my True
Hollywood Story going to be on in 3 weeks but don't
believe the hype, I only did lines of cocaine off of
my sisters stomach once and it was on a dare.
7) Where is Fin Shapiro lately? That
fucker owes me
a fiver.
He's resting, he's a really stupid
idea that I thought
up, and I plan to writing him into something in my new
online comic strip that I'm doing with Russ Townsend
of View Askew Board Posting fame........ but yeah,
he's a jewish bastard that loves Matza Ball Soup, they
say it's Jewish Penicillin but if I'm really sick, I'd
rather have regular Penicillin than Jewish Penicillin,
that's gross.
Thanks for asking me questions, I
can't wait to get
emails from people saying "Wow, you really think your
someone, but you're no one" because they're totally
right......but you know what, even though that View
Askew Crapper only has 29 hits, I have to start
somewhere.......and to the 8 people reading this,
watch out because here I come........
So there you have it folks, the first
interview by me.
I'm going back to lurking now...
NEXT WEEK: It's the eve of Jersey
Girl filming and... |
